Friday, April 21, 2006

To: Mr. & Mrs. K V George

Back from a two-day trip to Trivandrum and Cochin. This post is an absolute rant.

Mr. & Mrs. K V George:

First and foremost, the two of you sat next to me on the flight back to Bombay and ensured that all I did throughout those two hours was read 'Shame' by Rushdie and of course, twiddle my thumbs. For ruining the possibility of sitting next to some curvaceous female and spending quality time discussing something-in-general-and-nothing-in-particular, a wide majority of "Single, 25-yr olds" might believe, reason enough to rant against you. Not me. You see I am quite a generous guy. But what you did, or to be more precise, what you did not do, pissed me.

In the midst of turbulent weather and a plane-rocking-like-a-train, the last thing anyone wanted was to listen to some stupid cellphone ringtone. Tee-Tee-Tee-Teeee-Teeee. Tee-Tee-Tee. But, I had to. 140-odd passengers had to. Inspite of being repeatedly asked to switch off your cellphones, you two had the audacity to ignore the instructions of the cabin crew. Man is said to have evolved from the apes. What animal did the two of you evolve from? Donkeys. In fact, I would be insulting donkeys by claiming that you evolved from them. You serve as a perfect example for the 'Money cannot buy Common-Sense' adage.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Mera Number Kab Aayega???

Alternative title: Three-Time Unlucky Quizzer

(This pic is from the Bombay regionals. The extreme right guy (no pun intended) is me. And, table-tennis was farthest from my mind. The white-shirted guy with a Come-Smooch-Me-Hottie expression is my partner Tushar.)

BT-Acumen, Tata Crucible and now BEQ. My National Runners-Up juggernaut continues. The pain of having lost the Finals of Brand Equity Quiz on the last question seems to have subsided to a very large extent. Gone are also the "What if?" nightmares that I have had ever since.

"So What, Nobody Died" was Lance Klusener's classic statement after that '99 WC Semi-final against Australia. Wish I could be as nonchalant as him. Its true nobody died, but what died was that dream of peering down my third-floor apartment to catch a glimpse of a Ford Ikon resplendent under the warm morning sun. Aaaahhhh...

Magic moment: Semi-finals tie-breaker against Vizag Steel.
After we answered 'First Euro transaction'...jumped from my seat...walked behind it...punched the air...shouted a 'YES'...turned back to see my grinning partner...gave a hi-five...and both shouted 'YES'. Pure, unabashed joy. This is what one quizzes for. Will never forget those five seconds for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I'm Back!!!

Though the title of the post might raise visions of a star blogger doing a back-with-a-bang sorta act, let me remind you all that this post will be the usual Dhanno-bakwaas.

First and foremost, a very big THANK YOU to each and everyone for mailing/messaging your Best Wishes for Brand Equity. Yeah, I sold myself off to be a part of the Derek Circus.

Just a couple of days back was filling up this Performance Appraisal form at my workplace. What stupidity!!! Total MBA bakwaas... 'Leverage my Learning' and 'Understand Customer Needs' and what not. Makes me puke on myself for having written all that.

Today morning, I saw this foreign chick clandestinely clicking my pic. On second thoughts, was she focussing her lens on the Victoria Terminus building behind me??? Anywhichways, in a few days time if you find some MMS clip with my morphed face, you know I am not to be blamed.

Finally managed to complete Shalimar the Clown by Salman Rushdie. Took more than 2 weeks. When was the last time I spent more than 10 days on a book? Long long time back, Atlas Shrugged it was... At least, I read a Rushdie book in its entirety on the first attempt. Midnight's Children took me three tries. Currently, The Age of Reason by Jean Paul Sartre graces my hands.

Saw Carol graciasly walking the ramp after suffering a wardrobe malfunction. After around 10 viewings, I decided to concentrate my eyes a bit higher than the exposed part of her flesh and what I saw astounded me. Here she is, bare in front of all and not the slightest change in her expression. Either she is a thorough professional or it was staged. Who cares? Last heard, Maharashtra's Deputy Chief Minister (aka Grand Moral Guardian aka Pain-in-the-Backside) R R Patil has ordered an investigation into the entire matter. Just a small request, Patil Ji...Can I be a part of the committee??? I promise to probe deeper, where no Man has gone before....And where is that Gauhar Khan video my friends had promised???

Have missed all the three thrashings that England have received in the recent one-dayers. And the less said about the highlights package on DD Metro, the better. THE WORST PART about the show are those two idiots, one of whom wears a false Yankee Accent and the other whose sentences (and at times, even words) alternate between Hindi and English, playing the role of perfect killjoys by giving their expert comments on India's batting line-up and bowling strategy. (Note: The word 'expert' has been used loosely and in fact, completely in jest.) Oh, No. THE WORST PART is them announcing the result of the match at the start of the show. Sorry, Forgot. THE WORST PART is when they packed India's exciting run-chase in the 2nd one-dayer into a 5 min and 21 seconds quickie (might be less than that) and then proceeded on to bore the viewers for the next 10 minutes about where England went wrong and yada yada yada. Bottomline: DD SUCKS. Period. The last two words are mutually exclusive, though a certain section of the society does indulge in both. Sorry, I am digressing, coz., my sanity has come unstuck...

PS: Insomnia....Insanity

Thoughts, Dreams, Fantasies clouding my mind,
I lay awake, half-dead through the night,
Blood in my eyes, Tears in my veins,
Rebelled against casting her out of my sight.