You've Got Mail

I usually do not open any of the spam mails. But, today I made an exception. And it turned out to be a revelation of sorts. Here is the spam I received (Quite Graphic):

As seen on "Sex and The City"
http://shoottheduckad.com/

This classic vibrator is a womans best friend...
The Jack Rabbit Vibrator is a dual control multi-speed vibrating and rotating 7 1/2" x 1 1/2" Vibrator.
Made of a bright pink, pliant jelly, the tip is realistically sculpted.
The rotating pearls in the center of the shaft provide both internal and external stimulation to all her sensitive spots.
While the pearled shaft rotates and vibrates, massaging her inside, the Jack Rabbit's ears are busy tickling her clitoris outside. The shaft and stimulator are controlled separately, so she can customize her experience every time.


Jack Rabbit Vibrator Features:

Dual Control Multi-Speed Vibrator
Rotating Pearls
Rabbit Ears for External Clitoral Stimulation
The Jack Rabbit is 7 1/2 inches long x 1 1/2 inches in diameter

More info here:
http://shoottheduckad.com/


Planning to write them back thus:

I am touched with your sustained interest in my personal life.

Firstly, my TV viewing habits are restricted to 'K'-rappy serials that my mom watches and hence I have not been a witness to your product placement in "Sex and the City".

Secondly, just as the Hindi Muhavra goes "Taali Do Haathon Se Bajti Hai", similarly I believe there is a minimum requirement of two when it comes to the act or art of pleasuring up. Unfortunately, my life resembles a banjar zameen with no oasis in sight. Pardon my lachrymose prose, but I am sure you understand that the lack of a significant better by your bedside is quite a touchy issue.

Thirdly, notwithstanding the great features of the tool, aren't you targetting the wrong section of the population. Honestly, which male in his right senses would buy your product. Do you envisage a scenario where a man might gift it to a lady thus, "Look honey, what I bought for you. I hope this stops your complaints. And I'm going off to sleep rightaway. Have fun."