Friday, December 23, 2005

1st movie review - Garam Masala

Ever since I entered a movie-hall to watch 'Mangal Pandey - The Rising' and was subjected to a cleavage show of Kiron Kher, I have been skeptical of all movies, Bollywood. So yesterday when my local cablewallah beamed 'Garam Masala', it was with a sense of trepidation that I proceeded to make myself comfy with a cuppa coffee and ice-cream to keep me company. What raised my expectations was the fact that it was directed by Priyadarshan, whose filmography includes Virasat, Gardish, Muskurahat and Hera Pheri. Though, what followed was an ordeal that I am still recovering from.

Here is the basic plot:
Mac (Akshay Kumar) is engaged to Anjali (Rimi Sen). I know, Rimi sported the same name in Hungama. But if Shahrukh can be Rahul in a hazaar movies, then why not??? Mac is also a flirt. And like all flirts, he flirts around with three air-hostesses that go by the name of Priti, Sweety and Pooja (hereafter referred to as PYTs), played by Daisy Bopanna, Neetu Chandran and Nargis. I think respectively, though I don't care. They were pretty and quite hot. What's in a name, said Voltaire.
Sam (John Abraham), Mac's friend is obviously not happy watching Mac indulging himself in the foursome wholesome entertainment and hence, wants a share of the booty. After veiled and not-so-veiled threats to spill the beans, Sam is made an accomplice to help Mac live the entire lie. Uncle Mambo (Paresh Rawal) is Mac's cook who prepares dishes suited to the differing tastes of the three PYTs and helps Mac get out of trouble with his three-timing act.
The situation gets stickier when the airlines schedules are changed and the PYTs end up at Mac's place at the same time. So, we witness the by-now cliched one-door-opening-another-door-closing scenes. Duh!!!
The PYTs see through the entire act and so does Anjali. But, Anjali forgives Mac and all's well that ends well. Thank you very much. Pikchar Khatam. Paisa Hajam.

Honestly, is this a movie? No. Its a farce. What gave me the heartiest laugh was Anjali forgiving Mac. Picturise this scene featuring Mac, Sam and Anjali:
Mac: Anjali. Main...
Sam: Maine Anjali Ko Sab Bata Diya Hai. Aur Usne Tumhe Maaf Bhi Kar Diya.

What??? Just like that. Is she some sort of a naive bimbette?

I beg to disagree with people who claim that Akshay Kumar has a flair for comedy. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger was better in 'Jingle All The Way'. John, I always knew he cannot act. With this movie he just reaffirms my belief. Though, some are bound to miscontrue his fumbling-bumbling-falling-jumping-fast-talking-routine as comedy.
The three PYTs are quite decent (This observation has got nothing to do with my fetish for PYTs) They did what they were asked to i.e., strut their booty, act a bit bimbo-like, etc. etc. And they managed it without going overboard.
The only saving grace is Paresh Rawal, who with his impeccable timing and grumpy expressions makes dialogues like "Chaddi Main Roz Badalta Hoon" laugh-worthy.

On the whole, 'Garam Masala' is quite thanda. In fact, it is plain unpalatable affair. Unless you detach your brains and brace yourself for a 150 min third degree torture.


Blogger Surya Ragunaathan said...

I wonder how you had the patience to even watch this seems there are gags about spiderman and stuff(in the movie) and I saw in this programme once that pple were laughing their guts out in the theatres...were they like really good ones?...Havent ever read a more hilarious movie review...very well written...

12:31 AM  
Blogger loveunlimited said...

i feel that the review is more hilarious and entertaining than movie itself and i particularly liked the hindi usage of words like :pikchar khatam, paisa hajam" keep writing peppy stuff!!!

11:37 AM  
Blogger Dhananjay Shettigar said...

@ Surya - Gags about Spiderman. SHIT!!! I must have missed it. Actually, I saw the movie after about half-an-hour. Dunno, how people can laugh at such jokes. Maybe, the general sense of humour has gone for a toss. There are very few movies that have actually made me laugh. Will write about it in some future post.

@ loveunlimited - Thank you very much. What about the 'future' discussion? I was sleeping yesterday when you called me up. Sorry about that. Feel free to call me at unearthly hours.

10:07 PM  
Anonymous XYZ said...

Dhananjay, do you read reviews of the films that you would be watching in future? I suggest u do so. And not just in one single newspaper; read the reviews published in rival newspapers. That would prevent you from such headahces. What about the recent "BLOCKBUSTERS" like Family, Wah! Life ho to Aisi, Bluffmaster; or the likes of Bobby, Bad Friend etc...

11:01 AM  
Blogger Dhananjay Shettigar said...

@ XYZ - First and foremost, I rarely watch Hindi movies. Ever since Khaled Mahmood made the diaster of a movie titled 'Fiza', my faith in movie critics suffered a severe beating and reading Hindi movie reviews became an all the more rarer practice with me.
I do watch the seedy B-grade movies once in a while, coz my cablewallah beams one, every Sunday evening. And, I have fortunate enough to watch Payal Rohatgi do a tandava nritya cum striptease in some stupid movie whose name I don't remember nor care to.
By the way, care to disclose your name???

9:15 PM  

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