Tuesday, May 09, 2006

A Friend's Dilemma

This is what a dear friend of mine wrote a couple of days back. I am sure there are countless out there grappling with this dilemma.

Excuse me if you find this nothing more than a set of incongruous thoughts from a disillusioned mind.

I have always believed in the power of introspection and I still do believe in it. But I had never thought that being introspective in life can leave you confused and aghast.

Let me throw some light on things that I have been introspecting on lately.

As a fresh pass out from SSC, I probably had a limited idea of what life has in store for me. By using the word "probably" I am just trying to comfort myself, coz I would like to believe that there were a thousand others like me who were just as clueless. What I failed to notice was that there were a few hundreds who knew where they are heading.

Although I had an inclination to become an engineer, I still took up commerce. The question that bothers me today is WHY?

Not that I lacked capacity, capability or resources. But there is something that was missing. I perhaps did not have the confidence that I would make it to the best of the engineering colleges. And most importantly, I perhaps lacked an appetite to take that risk.

(Let me clear a few things. The eruption of this question in my mind has nothing to do with the great jobs and salary packages that engineer + MBA's grads have received off late. It's more to do with the thought "Am I really justifying my capabilities and inclinations or is the current state of life so comfortable that I don't want to get out of this mediocrity?")

Life moved on...I ensured that I did my best in commerce. (And I very honestly believe that I did reasonably well). Doing well in commerce wasn't difficult at all. I found that every time I got a balance sheet tallied, it was more because I asked the question how to get it tallied rather than why is it not getting tallied. Trust me, it was fun. Moved out of HSC with brilliant numbers on the mark sheet and a desire to become a CA. {In all probability another futile attempt to convince myself that I am made for finance and finance is made for people like me}

BMS...The best days of my life. Were they? Yes they were. Picnic, parties and night outs filled up 3 years with so much fun. Boy I still miss those days.

But on a serious note...All of that left me with limited or no time to think...What next? Am I really in the correct field or is there something else that I can be better at? Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and months into years...Moved out of BMS with another set of brilliant numbers on my mark sheet and a few additional bullet points on my resume to flaunt.

MBA seemed a logical extension. So I did what ever other Tom, D**k and Jerry :) did. Managed to complete MBA in finance and am now working for one of the reputed global finance firms in the world.

But the question still remains...am I doing the right thing...I do not doubt my capabilities or knowledge of finance but I feel that I lack that fire in the belly to excel in this field. Every morning I wake up with the belief that yes I can. And every evening I return home occupied with the same set of questions... AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING?

Boy I am lost...Confused...

Even after all this thought process I might still be where I am...I might still do exceedingly well in finance...But what if these questions come back once again a few years hence... Would I be really late to act?

16 Comments:

Blogger CruciFire said...

So so, it is ur friend...ahem.. ok tell that friend to go follow his heart..as cliched and as utterly foolish (in the eyes of the society) it sounds, follow ur heart... im one such hopless guy who keeps getting these questions quite often than not and feel a surging enthu to give up my present job and venture off to the unknown...I smtmes seriously mull over my attitude and think whether I will EVER be able to love any job that I take up..hmm wotever.. lets c..

11:17 PM  
Anonymous vineet said...

hmm, finally a post after a lot of days break.was waiting for your blog to get updated. well, these type of thoughts do come to my mind.am in this organisation frm the last 3 years, didnt really think that am made for the shipping industry but am just carrying on.With everyone around me doing the exercise of jobhopping, i seriously feel whether am the traditional type who is satisfied with A job.
anyways a gud post,worth the break.

10:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi mate,

well very valid questions in ur mind...but the answer is "we are busy with sense gratification and have forgot the only eternal relationship with lord.krsna,...just like when u water the roots of plants,..every other part is nourished as well..similarly..if u dont nourish this relationship...we will never...ever be satisfied

4:54 AM  
Blogger Dhananjay Shettigar said...

@ Crucifire - Follow your heart is fine. But what if the person does not know where he wants to be. He just knows this is NOT where he wants to be.

@ Vineet - If you are satisfied with your job nothing like it. Let people label you traditional or whatever, who cares.

@ Anonymous - Wait a sec...Do you mean to say that one does not find any satisfaction as long as one doesnt nourish one's relationship with GOD? First and foremost, I am an agnostic. I dont care whether god exists.
My e-mail signature reads:
God is either an Abstraction or a Failed Genius of our times. If the former is true, then God is Man's bigesst folly. If the latter is true, then Man is God's biggest folly. Eitherways, I dont care a damn.
I hope you got the drift....

9:18 PM  
Blogger Abhishek Tupe said...

Dhanno, I find this a very honest and valid questions, that I also ask myself at every satge.....and am sure almost 99% of the people still do the things but they dont have the answer. I think, there is no end to this until you get satisfied or you beleive this is right.....a very nice post.....am confused, coz nothing is wrong or right....i don't know what to say.

12:41 AM  
Blogger Surya Ragunaathan said...

"If you wait to do everything until you're sure,you'll probably never do much of anything" - Win Bordon

I think that explains it all :-)

cheers & and good luck to ur friend :-)

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey dhananjay,yes ur rite u can never be satisfies until u go afterur sense gratification!and one sec..everyone is looking for god!..yes even ur looking for god..coz u want bliss,happiness but u r indulging in ur sense gratificatin thinking that this and that will give u happiness but u will come to "spiritual" platform one day wherein you wont be disturbed by joy and sorrow!and agnostic...well u dont even know who ur father is ..but u believe ur father..u dont ask ur mother/fatehr to get DNA test and prove..its just faith !..yeah again why do u believe Aishwarya Rai exists for sure?U have just seen her on tv rite?may be she's just magination of media..similarly when u follow authorized path u will see god face to face!..and last but not the list..as i said earlier..if u water the roots plants all the other parts r nurished automatically,.similarly when u will come on the platform of self-realization(which is not a rocket science)...everything else in ur life will be taken care of!

1:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! Man, thats one horny guy here (like all guys) - except serious quizzers I know were normally staid and sex-less.

So much so, the dildo ads and enhancer spam mails that the quiz groups receive are comic relief.

Hope you manage to get some action soon - till then those hormones should drive you into better quizzing.... cheers

7:02 AM  
Blogger Dhananjay Shettigar said...

@ Tupe - Is it "People dont have the answer" or "People are too afraid to find an answer"???

@ Surya - True Indeed.

@ Anonymous 1 - I guess the basic theme of your comment is "Yeh Duniya Ek Maaya Hai." This logic of explaining the world is best left for streetside sadhus. Or maybe, you have picked it from one of those stupid self-help books. Nevertheless, stretching the same logic, even God must be Maaya. So, how does it make a difference?
Regarding whether Aishwarya Rai exists for sure... well SHE DOES. Coz., I can see her and if given a chance, I can FEEL her. No pun intended.
Pray tell me, what is the authorised path? That is, if there is.
The rest of your pseudo-intellectual cum 'philosophical' claptrap is best left uncommented.

@ Anonymous 2 - I am a Quizzer. I am a Human Being. Human Beings are Horny. Which implies, All Quizzers who are Human Beings are Horny :)

9:27 PM  
Blogger megha said...

Well..I don't really know if this is consoling, but, yes there are several thousands out there who have their heart in one domain and have made their career in another. Now your friend can be different from the thousand others by the way he handles the predicament at hand..So, I would suggest to him (though I was not asked) to get a life!!

2:04 AM  
Blogger Dhananjay Shettigar said...

@ Megha - Oh! Brilliant advice.
You know what...when your 16 yr-old son/daughter asks, "Mamma, I am confused. Should I take up Science or Arts or Commerce?" I am sure your advice would be the same, "Get A Life." You will indeed make a great parent. My Best Wishes are with your children. You see....they need it.

9:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hello dhananjay,

From your comments I can make out that really did not like what I said..anyways as someone who knows little about god consciousness my duty is to share and spread this only eternal truth.

Nonetheless,I hope one day you realize this...May Lord Krishna give you the intelligence to see the truth!

Wish you all the best

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Pradnya said...

All I can say about this friend's of (y)ours, (who without my explanation could exactly tell me what my dilemma was and why I was not confident before placement week) is: DITTO!! DITTO!! DITTO!!!
Except that I'm yet to reach that phase of indifference.

12:43 AM  
Blogger PRAKK (RP) said...

The Dilemma is never about what I should do or what I should not be doing. The problem is whether I am happy with what I am doing and does there exist something better which would be far more enjoyable.
There exists a simple answer to all this confusion.

First ask yourself are you doing fine or not.If its I dont know or No then nxt..otherwise ur doin fine

Ask self Do I knw smthng better I want to do.If Yes then nxt otherwise..else u probably hav now accepted the crnt path and r better of with it

This is the most important step..Are you ready to take risk(w/o forgetting al the possible effects of the risk)...if ans yes..then ur a fool 2b in this field..chng ur field

Now the problem is how?.. if u dont know how ..then even thnkin that ur not satisfied with the crnt field is wrong..bcoz if u truly were not happy with it u would hav by now known a way out.

Lastly, to tell the truth, as we are all trying to achieve a peacful mind It actually doesnt matter what field you chose. But smtimes finding the right field only helps us attain a peaceful self at a much faster rate.

11:53 PM  
Blogger Rajiv Iyer said...

"What is life? What am I doing in life? Is there meaning and purpose to what I am doing?" - These are questions all of us ask at one point of time or the other in life.

Believe me ur friend is not the only one asking these questions. 6 billion people ask those same questions, a lot of them on a daily basis. That includes me. Its just the restless and curious soul within that asks these existential riddlers.

While the questions remain the same, the answers are subjective. There is no single answer to the riddle of life. It depends on how u view life - whether u r an atheist or u r a religious person, whether u hav an adventurous or a quiet persona.

Thats why its so damn difficult to come up with an answer. U just cant take advice from anyone but urself. Because, what hold true for ur father, brother and/or buddies may not hold true for u.

Each one of us has to find the answers ourselves based on our perceptions, attitude and personality. I guess thats why we live for 80 years! :P

Ultimately, in the larger context of the cosmos, ours is a world that is truly a grain of sand among the cosmic landscape. Ultimately, it just doesnt matter - whether u r an Engg. or a CA!

Just to conclude, a quote by the great Mahatma himself :
"Nothing that we do matters. But that must not stop us from doing it!"


Hope that simplifies the complex riddle of life and its meaning for ur friend! :)

8:09 AM  
Blogger Rajiv Iyer said...

"What is life? What am I doing in life? Is there meaning and purpose to what I am doing?" - These are questions all of us ask at one point of time or the other in life.

Believe me ur friend is not the only one asking these questions. 6 billion people ask those same questions, a lot of them on a daily basis. That includes me. Its just the restless and curious soul within that asks these existential riddlers.

While the questions remain the same, the answers are subjective. There is no single answer to the riddle of life. It depends on how u view life - whether u r an atheist or u r a religious person, whether u hav an adventurous or a quiet persona.

Thats why its so damn difficult to come up with an answer. U just cant take advice from anyone but urself. Because, what hold true for ur father, brother and/or buddies may not hold true for u.

Each one of us has to find the answers ourselves based on our perceptions, attitude and personality. I guess thats why we live for 80 years! Who knows? Mebbe the purpose of life is to find that purpose! :P

Ultimately, in the larger context of the cosmos, ours is a world that is truly a grain of sand among the cosmic landscape. Ultimately, it just doesnt matter - whether u r an Engg. or a CA! Things were set in motion 15 billion years ago and things will probably come to an end in such time soon. So, in a way, the world is following a pre-determined path from its creation to its final destruction.


Just to conclude, a quote by the great Mahatma himself :
"Nothing that we do matters. But that must not stop us from doing it!"


Hope that simplifies the complex riddle of life and its meaning for ur friend! :)

8:15 AM  

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